Continuing on with our weekly excursions to the Pennsylvania Renaissance Faire (PRF), we continue our adventure following the Queen's Court and reach noontime upon the Shire.
12 p.m.
'Tis the hour of twelve when the Queen’s Court concludes. It is now Pyrate Invasion weekend and we have an open sea of choices of where we shall go next. But first, we need to refill our mugs of that devil’s brew known as the Blackwater Stout. Now dear readers, before we get to our next destination, it is Lotti and Ax’s mission to not only be your guide for the PRF, but to be your first mate! And the main purpose of the first mate is to ensure the well-being of the crew (our readers). One of the ways we do that is by letting you in on a little secret...
Many will tell you and possibly even persuade you to attend some of the more well-known or extravagant events that start at 12 p.m.: Sir Arthur Greenleaf Holmes, Celtic Legacy, Hob the Troll or the Celtic Revels. But dear reader, the real treasure in this timeslot lies not in a theatre or a stage but in the belly of the ship! It is our sincere recommendation that you take advantage of this timeslot to make your way to the Pyrate Ship for Beano with Argyle Douglas.
We know that dead men tell no tales, but if they did... they would tell you that playing bingo at noon in a giant replica of a pirate ship with 60-year-old playtrons just may be the best-kept secret of the PRF. Hosted by the legendary Argyle Douglas, a longtime resident of the Shire known best for his Scottish cooking demonstrations, wrestling matches and comedy routines, Beano originated in 1530 and is a staple of the Shire. Argyle’s savvy and subtle humor really makes this game fun and inviting for newcomers and regulars alike. Another key aspect is that unlike other games or contests throughout the faire, the prizes for winning a game of Beano are top notch. It’s a treasure chest of pint glasses, shot glasses, shirts, stickers, drink koozies, magnets, and more.
As we settled into the dark, dank underbelly of the ship, the banging of the drums and screeching of bagpipes sounded as Celtic Legacy began their set at the neighboring Globe Stage. What made this event so much fun (aside from Ax winning a brand new shot glass!) were the fellow Beano players. Seated behind us were a table of seasoned, longtime PRF regulars. Though we were on our second round of drinks, they were on their third. Shouts of, "'Tis the bean, not the card,” and, “Wait! I need to hear this song!” as the song "Tequilla" thundered from the Globe Stage nearby, reverberated throughout the game, making it just raucous enough to make bingo exciting, but not to distract from the actual game.
The alternative acts listed above have other timeslots throughout the day (typically repeating at 12, 2, or 5 p.m.), while Beano is only offered at 12 p.m. With the always welcoming and funny Argyle, a booty of prizes, and a group of squiffy sexagenarians, Beano should be your first stop of the day
following Queen’s court. Whereupon Beano ends at half past the hour of noon and allows for a good number of rounds (and ample opportunity for players to win prizes), there is time for us to squeeze in one more show before our growling bellies steer us in search of sustenance.
Making our way toward the Queen’s Market Square down the hill from the faire gates, we arrive at Hart Inn, which is aptly adorned with the heads of various harts. Here we catch the Rakish Rogues (also known on the PRF program schedule simply as "Rogues"), an ambitious though perhaps blundering band of troubadours with legally questionable pursuits on their mind. These young men offer a bawdy and amusing musical tale of love and adventure with the right amount of salty language and double entendre worthy of their PG-13 rating.
Nestled between a pourhouse and several of the royal kitchens, the Hart Inn is a solid option to catch a steady stream of musical and stage acts right off of one of the primary throughfares of the shire. As a special bonus during the day of our Pyrate Invasion visit, we also caught the specially featured Pyrates Royale musical act, which provided the right amount of sea chanties, historical interest notes, and musical atmosphere before Ax and Lotti head on to the next hourly encounter at Mount Hopeshire.
The crowd roaring, our bellies growling, and merchants hawking, lunch time approaches. Tune in next time for our lunch review special and continued guide of the PRF.
Bonus: Getting into Character
Each week of the PRF has a different theme. Week two’s theme was Pyrate Invasion! To help us get psyched up and ready for some buccaneer ballyhoo, we watched the 1995 cult classic, Cutthroat Island. Famous for at one time holding the Guinness record for biggest film flop of all time, this underappreciated movie stars the always fun Geena Davis and Matthew Modine, and was written by Robert King, who would go on with his wife Michelle to create such excellent shows as The Good Fight, Elsbeth, and Evil.
Set in the sea-fearing times of the 1660’s in Jamaica, Cutthroat Island follows infamous pirate Morgan Adams (Davis) and her crew searching for buried treasure using the scalp map (yes, you read that right!) of her deceased father while fending off her uncles' claims to the booty. In a way, action movies from the 1990s were similar to the pirate-infested oceans of the late 1600s: excessive, explosive, and at times celebrating very bad dialogue... But 'twas fun nonetheless!
Just like the review above reminding you do not sleep on Beano, dodge the urge to follow the mainstream (Pirates of the Caribbean) and instead delight in the underdog (Cutthroat Island).
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